I weighed myself this morning. I believe that numbers aren't a good gauge of worth or beauty or even health, sometimes. But when you're shoving food down your throat like you're not going to eat for another week while you know about so many people that don't have enough food for today, it's time for a visual kick in the pants.
My (new! got it for $3.04 thanks to a gift card and a coupon) scale filled me in on the details: I am at what I would consider to be my happy weight (the weight that I feel healthy, comfortable, and well, happy at without obsession, calorie-counting, overeating, or any other similar behaviors).
However, I don't actually trust it because of all the food I've been throwing back and because I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. Did I just throw away those 3 dollars? Maybe I just paid $3 to learn (again!) that physical health is not so much about what the scale has to say to me.
What I want is to get back to being healthy in my head, respecting my body, and feeling comfortable in it all over again. So while I wouldn't consider my pants kicked, I did come up with other ideas to help me along the way:
- Continue to write about it. Admit what I'm struggling with to all of you.
- I splurged on some protein powder last night. I'm thinking that combining a little more protein with a little less sugar will help me to feel more stabilized. At least in body. And that's a start, right?
- That's it so far. Any other ideas?