Decisions, Decisions

I know.

I really have been a bum about updates around here.

I've been getting caught up with all kinds of things. Big things. Life things. Saying goodbye and pregnancies and birthdays and weddings. (Which I would like to be blogging about, but I've simply been running out of time.)

I still don't have a bump picture, but I do have something to say.

That is, today I was reminded of something absolutely wonderful about life.

There is a woman in my life who is absolutely toxic (and of course, you know this is not the wonderful part). She seems to always be in search of ways to put me down. Ways to rain on my parade. Ways that are masked as "helpful" or "interested" that aren't, really.

I have learned to deal with this, for the most part.

But let me tell you- one thing this pregnancy has brought with it is a much lower tolerance level. Along with that same treatment from a particular woman refocused on my growing belly.

And a gray cloud that hangs out over my head sometimes- well, too often, really.  I haven't wanted to let the  comments bother me, but they have.

The comments continued, my poor husband the sounding board for my frustrations.

Today, I was sure I was about ready to blow a fuse.

I vented to my husband (again).

I vented to my sister.

I vented on a pregnancy forum I frequent.

(Thank you to everyone who listened! I needed that today!)

Which led me to realize something wonderful about this life we live- choices.

 I get to decide what I'm going to do with the comments I've been trying so hard to be gracious about (while inwardly getting more and more bothered). I get to decide whether I'm going let her rain on my parade or whether I'm going to push her comments aside and enjoy the changes that are going on in me for the beauty and the miracle that they are.

I get to decide.

And that makes me feel so much better.

And by the way, a few of the things I decide are:

-My body is doing something amazing and inspiring, and I'm going to continue my quest to soak every moment of it up.

-It's not a good idea to ask my husband, "am I really that much bigger?" after hearing a particularly bothersome comment. He won't say it, but I am getting bigger. There is a baby growing inside of me. No one that matters in my life cares, no one thinks my identity is tied to my (growing) size. It's a good idea to just let it go and enjoy. (To this end, I've started stepping on the scale only at the doctor's office, no more at home.)

-New life is something to be celebrated, and celebrate I will.

-No one unnecessarily rains on my parade without my permission.