Mommy Worries « Yoga for Breakfast

15May/126

Mommy Worries

I wrote my last post early Mothers Day morning, coffee by my side and the rest of my family sleeping upstairs.

I didn't post it the same day because it was Mothers Day. I wasn't sure I wanted to publish a post that was all, "hey! look at me being a mom!" on the same day. Because we get it. I'm a mom. Everything has changed. (Except I will continue to write about it because everything has changed and I NEED to keep writing.)

I packed our schedules too full that day. Church and lunch and dinner and hours away with not enough of time for my baby boy to recharge.

Nolan loves to be around people, but he needs to be away from them to re-energize. (Hanging out with his Mama and Daddy counts as "alone.") By the time we arrived at my in-law's, Nolan was in and out of miserable. He needed to decompress. He needed to get away and watch the cars go by and maybe pick some grass.

But everyone wanted to see his sweet face (who can blame them?), so we all acknowledged he was grumpy and tried to work with his current state of being anyway.

I struggle sometimes with what to do when I know I can fix things for him. I know him so well, of course. We've become buddies over these last few months. He knows I will laugh when he tries to give me "kisses," and he trusts me.

(Ahem. He trusts me to take care of him, which includes not packing his schedule too full...)

He needs other people, too.

I don't want to smother him. I don't want to do anything to cripple who he is and how he develops. I'm a stay-at-home mom, and I love it, but I worry sometimes that he can get too much mommy time.

I know he's only 6 months old, but I'm coming across the "what to do when there is no right answer" conundrum. Which is pretty much the same as, "I could always find something to worry about from now until the rest of my life because I am responsible for this little life...and. REALLY. I could always find something to worry about before he was born."

Over and over, I go back to my old stand-by of doing the best I can in the moment. Sometimes it is enough and sometimes the moment lets me know I need to change a few things, educate myself, or just pull him into my arms and hold him tight.

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Kristen G
May 16th, 2012 - 09:17

Some of the things I’ve learned (that may or may not help you) are that if you know what’s best in the moment for your child, sometimes you need to make that choice whether those around you will agree or not. In the past I’ve found myself wondering why a certain parent did something the way they did. Now I understand even though it seemed odd to me at the time. They know their child better than anyone else. Also, we are only human so we will make mistakes and we will fail our children. It is something we must come accept, learn from, and move on from.

You are doing a great job Sarah.
Katie
May 16th, 2012 - 10:02

Always something to worry about, yup. But I think you said in the last post that his schedule was too full Sunday so you relaxed and took it super easy Monday. And maybe that’s something he’ll need to learn, too–to get through the tough things and do what you can to balance them out.

Hugs, mama.
Heather @ Run Eat Play
May 16th, 2012 - 21:37

I agree with the “too much mommy time.” I am a stay at home mom too and my youngest hates leaving my side!
Can’t wait to read more of your blog!
Sarah
May 17th, 2012 - 16:01

Heather, thank you for letting me know I’m not crazy to worry about that.
How old is your youngest?
Sarah
May 17th, 2012 - 16:02

Thank you, Katie .
For commiserating with me and also letting me know it’s okay for him to learn these things with me.
You are wonderful.
Sarah
May 17th, 2012 - 16:04

Kristen, that DOES help. Sometimes I “know” the things you wrote about, but I still need a kick in the butt to remind me that “hey, I’m the mama. I make the decisions,” and “I will make mistakes and we will all survive.”
THANK YOU.
And that last line in your comment just about brought me to (grateful) tears.