Awkward « Yoga for Breakfast

5Jun/122

Awkward

When I was a teenager, I was told that when I grew up, I'd be a beautiful woman. Always with a disclaimer like, "not that you're not pretty now, but you'll be beautiful when you grow up."

It's hard to know how to take a comment like that when you're 15, but I get what they meant, I think. I was in an awkward stage, but I was going to grow out of it. I was going to look like I belonged in my own skin soon.

Knowing I'm going to grow out of an uncomfortable circumstance that I just can't seem to fight my way out of, into something that fits well and feels great (like a perfect pair of jeans) can be comforting.

What I didn't know (and still often forget) is that the awkward stage thing is something I have and will continue to go through over and over so long as I don't stop changing (trying new things, learning, asking questions).

It comes after a job change, a life change, a hair cut (ahem, my last one), a new role or project.

But I (will) grow into it. After a while, it starts to fit and feel pretty much near perfect.

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Katie
June 6th, 2012 - 10:52

Your poor haircut! At least it will grow out and you can change it again. Mom always told us we could dye our hair or do anything we wanted to it, because we could always cut it off or grow it out–much better to experiment with your teenage rebellion in a non-permanent medium, yes? But it’s true. A bad haircut can really ruin your month.

Sigh. Every time I think I’m feeling comfortable in my own skin, confident of who I am…all I have to do is go to some sort of party or social event and I’m right back to Awkward. I don’t know if I’ll ever get past that particular Awkardness.

Good luck with your own growth and changes, Sarah! *hugs* I hope all is (relatively) well with you and your family.
Sarah
June 6th, 2012 - 14:35

Katie,
Thank you for commiserating with me. I know I am/was showing my vanity, but that hair cut really did a number on my confidence. But you’re right- hair grows, and I think it’s worth it to experiment and have fun with it anyway.

Why don’t you think you’ll ever get past the awkwardness you mention? You seem like somebody I’d want to talk and hang out with at a party!