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4Apr/101

Late Night Update

I've been having so much fun over the past couple of days that I have not taken nearly enough pictures. Oops. That is a habit I am trying to break.

I started my Friday adventures with a 12 ounce Fair Trade Spring Revival Green Mountain Coffee. I thought it was a fitting flavor to kick off my new plan to reconnect with my own body (although I am hoping to get away from drinking coffee every morning.) I tried it black, and was quite pleased to find that I enjoyed it. Hooray! This means I can end the "to use splenda or not" debate that's been going on inside my head.

I stopped at my local farmers market for a bit then, headed to YOGA! Such a great class. I headed home, with enough time to shower and greet Alyssa- we had an Easter egg dying date!

During the set-up, I got hungry. In the spirit of my very recent efforts, I decided to wait until I was truly hungry to eat; I had also decided ahead of time that Friday would be the day to try my very first Green Monster. Up until then, I had interest in drinking them but was concerned that I wouldn't be satisfied with drinking a smoothie as opposed to chewing. The verdict? I loved it!

Can you spy my Green Monster? I just threw a sliced banana, a spoonful of ground flaxseed, a scoop of vanilla protein powder (it was difficult for me to find a protein powder that doesn't include sweeteners, but I did it!), a big handful of baby spinach, and unsweetened vanilla almond milk into the food processor for a couple of minutes. No real measurements, because I'm trying to get away from that kind of thinking. For my own sake.

The smoothie did a great job of holding me over until I could get a little something else to eat, which was convenient- we had Easter egg dying to do!

And then hula-hooping, push-up, and jumping jack contests, a walk, lots of games, races, a piggy-back ride, and exploration. We had a blast, but by the time Alyssa left, I was beat!

I have no more pictures to share. Lots of piecemeal thoughts, but no pictures. It's late, so I'm going to make the rest of this quick:

  • I think Tim have found a CSA we'd like to join, and I'm really excited about that.
  • Eventually, I'd like to make things like bread, tortillas, and sauce from scratch. From things I buy locally.
  • I want to prove to myself that I can support local agriculture and spend less on groceries than what I am spending now.
  • I enjoyed a lazy morning on Saturday. It's not typical of me to lay around, but I'm glad I got to spend some extra time with my husband.
  • Tim and I visited our friend Jaimie this morning, and it was wonderful. She is wonderful. I'm really revelling in the incredible people that are surrounding my life right now.
  • Tim has been prodding me to buy some new clothes. Today, with his encouragement, and also my sister's, I did. I took advantage of a 40% off sale at a Banana Republic Outlet, armed myself with a 15% coupon and set off to replace my worn-out clothing. And soak up several hours with the beautiful Katie.
  • I adore my husband.
  • I need to call my brother tomorrow. It has been too many weeks since our last conversation.
  • I have an amazing family, and I am so proud of them.
  • I need to get my butt (and the rest of me!) into bed.

Good night!

2Apr/100

An Attempt to Get My Own Butt Kicked

I weighed myself this morning. I believe that numbers aren't a good gauge of worth or beauty or even health, sometimes. But when you're shoving food down your throat like you're not going to eat for another week while you know about so many people that don't have enough food for today, it's time for a visual kick in the pants.

My (new! got it for $3.04 thanks to a gift card and a coupon) scale filled me in on the details: I am at what I would consider to be my happy weight (the weight that I feel healthy, comfortable, and well, happy at without obsession, calorie-counting, overeating,  or any other similar behaviors).

However, I don't actually trust it because of all the food I've been throwing back and because I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. Did I just throw away those 3 dollars?  Maybe I just paid $3 to learn (again!) that  physical health is not so much about what the scale has to say to me.

What I want is to get back to being healthy in my head, respecting my body, and feeling comfortable in it all over again.  So while I wouldn't consider my pants kicked, I did come up with other ideas to help me along the way:

  1. Continue to write about it. Admit what I'm struggling with to all of you.
  2. I splurged on some protein powder last night. I'm thinking that combining a little more protein with a little less sugar will help me to feel more stabilized. At least in body. And that's a start, right?
  3. That's it so far. Any other ideas?
8Jan/101

Unsavvy Savings

I love this man.

This morning, after some fairly harsh disappointment, he held me and told me he loved me. And my day got brighter.

Over the span of a few days,I've come up with a list of ways to save money on some of my favorite foods. It is surprising how many coupons and free samples can be found after a quick trip to the websites of my favorite brands! But it needs to be said that some of my efforts to save money have resulted in the cost of something else. Something greater.

I pursued a work study position at a local yoga studio several months ago because I thought that my job was going to be eliminated. I have fallen in love with yoga and I did not want to give that up, so in exchange for as many classes as I want to take, I agreed to work 4 hours a week for a minimum of 6 months.

I did not lose my job. Which means that "as many classes as I want to take" turned into "2 classes for my own sanity because that is all I can fit in while teaching full-time, volunteering at church, doing a 4+ hour work study, attempting to keep relationships in tact,and moving and remodeling a new house." It should be said that Tim (and Bill, Mary Ellen, my parents, Ed, Steve, and Matt) ended up doing most of the work at the new house while I fulfilled my obligations. And while yoga leaves me feeling great (and I am just as hooked as ever), my schedule has a)been very full, leaving me feeling overwhelmed much of the time, and b) not often coincided with Tim's schedule.

Part B is the worst part. Tim is my best friend, my partner. And we need time together so we can hash life out together, so we can root each other on, and so we can work as a well-practiced team.

But...
the fury of our home projects is dying down.
I am discontinuing my work study after my 6-month commitment is over.
I have found another free yoga alternative, a less time-consuming one (amazingyoga.net offers free podcasts).
Tim and I spent hours talking everything out last Tuesday.

And I am going to one of my favorite cities with my favorite person this weekend.